I WON'T Survive
by kakumeimei
Summary: From the creator of Hiei the Prostitute, we bring you I WON'T Survive! Yusuke's having a karaoke party, complete with song spoofs, disco, and random stupidity! Rated PG-13 only for swearing. Please Review!
1. Yusuke's doing disco!

From the creator of "Hiei the Prostitute", we now bring you

I WON'T Survive

Melissa: Hi there! Yes, I'm the same chick who wrote "Hiei the Prostitute", so you can tell this is going to be wild. ^^

Miyu: And we care because…?

Melissa: I dunno. I just thought you'd like to know  'cause I'm random like that.

Miyu: O_o

Melissa: On with the fic!

Disclaimer: I own Mei, since I am Mei. Kota belongs to A girl and her muses. I don't own YYH or I Will Survive, but I did get a 98 on it during a karaoke session… 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

      Yusuke laid on his bed, bored out of his mind. "Bored, bored, bored," he said to no one in particular. Atsuko had gone out with her drinking buddies a couple nights before, leaving Yusuke to fend for himself.

      "Isn't there a damn thing to do in this house?!" he yelled. There was silence, and then he heard a pile of dirty dishes crash in the kitchen, making him sweat drop.

      After about thirty seconds of staring at the ceiling, Yusuke decided to go on the lap top that Atsuko had brought home one night. He didn't know how Atsuko got the lap top, but he decided it was best not to ask. 

      He signed onto AIM, and found that the following names were in a chat room: Bewaremyslap (Keiko), RoseRedFox (Kurama), RoseRedFox'sStalker (Kota), Psychotic_Yusukeholic (Me!!!), Kittenlvr (Kuwabara), IcePrincess (Yukina), kawaiiferrygirl (Botan), and Hiei (guess who? Lol). He entered the chat room and started to type.

punkhairgel: Hey, guys. 

Psychotic_Yusukeholic: YUSUKE!!!!! *glomp*

Bewaremyslap: Get off my Yusuke, Mei! _#

Psychotic_Yusukeholic: Bite me!

Bewaremyslap: I'd rather chop your head off!

Psychotic_Yusukeholic: With a naginata? I love naginatas!

kawaiiferrygirl: o.O()

RoseRedFox'sStalker: Kick her ass, Mei! Woot! lol

RoseRedFox: Calm down, guys.

Bewaremyslap: -_- Fine.

Psychotic_Yusukeholic: -_- I'll kill her later.

Hiei: Can I help?

Psychotic_Yusukeholic: Sure!

Bewaremyslap: O.O

punkhairgel: Uh, yeah… Anyway, I'm having a karaoke party in an hour. You should come over.

Psychotic_Yusukeholic: I'll be there in two minutes! ^-^

Psychotic_Yusukeholic has left the chat room

punkhairgel: o.O

kawaiiferrygirl: o.O

RoseRedFox: o.O

RoseRedFox'sStalker: o.O

Hiei: o.O

IcePrincess: o.O

Kittenlvr: o.O

Bewaremyslap: Yes! She's gone! ^______^

kawaiiferrygirl: lol. When did you get a karaoke machine, Yusuke?

punkhairgel: -_-() Kaasan brought it home the other night. She was drunk.

kawaiiferrygirl: oh.

punkhairgel: So, are you guys coming?

Bewaremyslap: Yep!

RoseRedFox: Sure.

RoseRedFox'sStalker: My Kura-chan's going, so I'm going too!

IcePrincess: I'll come too. ^^

Kittenlvr: I'M GOING WITH YOU, MY ICE PRINCESS!!!

Hiei: *twitch* I'll go, just to save Yukina from that oaf.

IcePrincess: Why would I need to be saved?

Hiei: Never mind.

kawaiiferrygirl: See you soon!

      Yusuke signed off and got ready for the party. He walked into the kitchen and noticed that there was a very large amount of dishes and rubble all over the apartment. "This might take a while," he said.

      "And that's why I'm here!" a cheery voice came from behind him. 

Yusuke turned to see Mei in the living room "M-Mei?! How did you get in here?!"

      "Duh!" she responded. "I broke down the door!" she beamed. 

      Yusuke sweat dropped. "Oi…"

*~*~ One hour later

      The entire gang had gathered at Yusuke's still cluttered apartment. You see, Mei didn't help Yusuke clean up. Instead, she glomped him for the entire hour, keeping Yusuke from cleaning.

      "WOW, I'm in Yu-chan's apartment!" Mei cried, stars flashing in her eyes. "It's a dream come true!" she exclaimed, randomly stashing a pair of Yusuke's boxers in her purse.

      Everyone else just stared at Mei like the psycho she is, except for Kota, who was trying to get a lock of Kurama's hair.

      "So, who is singing first?" Yukina asked.

      "I am," Yusuke asked, grabbing the microphone and stepping up onto the stage. 

      "Go, baby, go!" Mei yelled. She ran into a closet and came out wearing a shirt that had Yusuke's picture on it and looking much like a groupie. "BELT IT OUT, YU-CHAN!!!" She held up a crappy looking sign that read "Winner of the YYH Karaoke Contest, Yusuke Urameshi!"

      "Will you stop that?!" Keiko yelled at her.

      "Make me!" Mei retorted, sticking her tongue out.

      "Listen, I'm the only Yusuke-groupie that Yusuke should have. Got it?" Keiko told her, placing a hand on her hip.

      "You call yourself a Yusuke-groupie?" Mei asked. "You got the name wrong! Yusuke-groupies are called 'Yusukeholics'!"

      "AHEM!" Yusuke said into the microphone. "Can I please get to my song?"

      "Gomen, Yusuke!" The two girls said, forcing smiles. 

      Yusuke shook his head. It wasn't easy for him to be so kawaii. But he forgot all about that when the music started to play. He took a breath and started to sing.

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified

When I found out that I had gone and died

But then I spent so many nights

Thinkin' how that stupid driver did me wrong

And I grew strong

And I learned how to get along

And now I'm back

From Spirit World

All it took was Koenma's help and a kiss from that one girl"

      Mei started to chase Keiko with a spork, a wild gleam in her brown eyes. "Damn you! I wanted to kiss him!"

      Keiko ran, covering her head with her arms. "Make her stop!" she pleaded, fear ringing in her voice.

      Yusuke sweat dropped and continued to sing.

"I should have never helped out that kid, 

I shouldn't have gone into the street,

If I had known for just one second that the car would hit me!

Get my stalker out, make her go away! 

Make her turn around now,

'Cause she'll kill me with her glomps someday!"

      Everyone burst out into laughter, with the exception of Yusuke (he had to focus on the song rhythm) and Mei, who felt rather offended.

      "Well, that's not very nice!" Mei stated. "My glomps aren't lethal!"

      Yusuke mouthed the words "Yeah, right" and continued his song.

"When I had died and saw everyone cryin'

Did I crumble?

Do you think I laid down and died?

Oh yes, yes I! I won't survive!

Oh as long as I get hit by that car, I know I'm sure to die

I had all my life to live

And I had all my love to give, and I won't survive

I won't survive, hey, hey…

It took a lot of spirit energy to bring me back to life

Kept trying hard to keep Kuwabaka out of my fights"

      Kuwabara was about to run up to the microphone and completely deny the name "Kuwabaka", but Mei and Kota held him back.

      "It suits you," Kota told him with a smirk. Kuwabara facefaulted. In the meanwhile, Yusuke had continued his song.

"And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry

But now I hold my head up high

And you see me, somebody new

I'm not that guy who got hit by a car and died, too (A/n: Yes he is! ^^)

And so I felt like singin' my song

And I expect you to listen to me

And now I'm savin' all my livin' for the times Keiko will slap me"

      Keiko's face burned red with embarrassment when Yusuke sang the last line. "Keiko slaps him everyday," Botan pointed out with a grin.

      "He always deserves it," Keiko responded sheepishly. Yusuke sweat dropped, seeing as how it was true. He started singing again.

"I should have never helped out that kid, 

I shouldn't have gone into the street,

If I had known for just one second that the car would hit me!

Get my stalker out, make her go away! 

Make her turn around now,

'Cause she'll kill me with her glomps someday!

When I had died and saw everyone cryin'

Did I crumble?

Do you think I laid down and died?

Oh yes, yes I! I won't survive!

Oh as long as I get hit by that car, I know I'm sure to die

I had all my life to live

And I had all my love to give, and I won't survive

I won't survive, hey, hey…

Oooh, get my stalker out, make her go away!

Make her turn around now

'Cause she'll kill me with her glomps someday

When I had died and saw everyone cryin'

Did I crumble?

Do you think I laid down and died?

Oh yes, yes I! I won't survive!

Oh as long as I get hit by that car, I know I'm sure to die

I had all my life to live 

And I had all my love to give, and I won't survive

I won't survive, I won't survive!"

      Yusuke finished his song and looked out to his buddies. The girls were cheering and clapping. Mei's voice was obviously the loudest, which made Keiko cringe with jealousy. The guys were snickering and laughing at their usually introverted friend, who had just bared his thoughts oddly enough. Yusuke laughed too, just because it felt really good to get that off of his chest. That, and you have to admit, karaoke is fun!

      "WOOT!! Go Yusuke!" Mei and Keiko exclaimed simultaneously. They then turned to each other, daggers flashing between their eyes.

      Yusuke gave a cocky grin and bowed. "Hehe, I rock, don't I?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Melissa: Okay, it's official, I love the name Mei and I will probably be changing my name to it.

Miyu: You are pathetic.

Melissa: I know. Anyway, should I continue this? If you want me to, tell me in a review. The only problem is that I've run out of songs to spoof. So gimme ideas, onegai! I need the character you want to sing it, and the song you want me to spoof. I'm thinking Kota-chan and I can make "She's a maniac" into "We are stalkers". 

Miyu: That's disturbing.

Melissa: I know! So review and tell me what you think. Oh, and should I change my name to Mei (not my penname, but my actual name. You know, go under Mei instead of Melissa?)? Have a nice day! ^_^

-Ai much,

~*Melissa-chan*~


	2. Kota's super sad family portrait

Melissa: Uh, yeah, hi y'all… Um, today's chap was written by my dear twinlit, Kota Emina (Keeper of the Apocolypse)! ^-^ (BTW, K-chan, I added a bit more detail and all that good stuffs, kay?)

Miyu: It's really angsty… You have been warned. O_o

Melissa: Here we go! ^_^

Kota: WAI! I'm at the authoress notey thingy! Anyways, since this is ME singing, I wrote the chapter so L-chan had less crap to do! ^^ Here's my song!!!

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho and Pink's 'Family Portrait' don't belong to Kota or Melissa, they're just two poor shoujo with dead bishonen in their closets.

NOTE---

/Song Lyrics/

"Talking"

*Thoughts or telepethy*

You know the rest, or so I hope O.o

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chappyter 2: Kota's super sad family portrait

      Kota ran up the almighty karaoke machine and held up a CD. "I broughted my own CD!" she exclaimed, smiling uber-kawaii-ly.

      Hiei rolled his eyes, being the apathetic little fire demon he was. "What is it? 'A lovely bunch of coconuts'?" he asked.

      Kota shook her head. "Nuh-uh, but I do have a Hiei version of it!" She grinned at him, making Hiei sweat drop. She jumped up onto the stage, which was actually just a box she had built in her spare time.

      "Hiei version?" Yusuke asked, looking confused. "I thought you liked Kurama."

      "I do, but Hiei's hot too!" Kota said, still smiling. "Anyways, L-chan, mind pushing play on you're DVD player? I put a background on the CD, so stuff shows up in back, I also brought a background CD with me!" (K/N: Yusuke has a DVD playa?)

      "Score!" Mei squealed, grabbing the remote control. "Ready? If not, TOO BAD!!" With that, Mei pushed play and started the CD.

      A dark and rainy background appeared on the TV, and the words "Family Portrait, sung by YOU" popped up. The letters soon faded and were replaced by the words "Parodied by Kota Emina". The intro music started, slowly but steadily, and Kota began singing.

//Mama's been yellin', I'm so used to the sound

Her pain's never been painful, but I've been torn down//

      Yusuke, Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara's eyes widened. The lyrics that came from Kota's mouth were shocking. They all had one thought on their minds: Who was this girl, and where was the usually happy Kota?

//I hear glasses breaking, as I'm studying in my bed

I heard all the nasty things mama and daddy said//

      The background changed from a rainy day to a dark and spiraling vortex, signaling a change in tempo and emotion. During the change, Kota's expression grew graver.

//You fight about money, 'bout me and my sister

And one thing's for sure, when I leave, I sure won't miss ya'//

      Kuwabara leaned over to Yusuke and whispered, "Kota has a sister?"

      "I dunno," Yusuke whispered back, sounding equally confused. "I've never heard her talk about one…maybe she's older?"

      Mei shook her head with new tears brimming in her eyes. "No, her sister's three years younger than her.

//It isn't easy growin' up in World War III, but I know what love will be, I _will_ see

I know love isn't going to destroy me like it is doing to my family

'Cause I will work it out, I will have a family

I swear I'm gonna be so much better, I'll do anything

I will work it out, just me and my real family

I won't need any help from you, dad, so just go ahead and leave//

      Hiei shifted uncomfortable in his seat. *Now that I think of it, she never talks about her family… Do they not get along?*

      *I… I'm not sure,* Kurama responded, still watching Kota's performance intently. *I never thought she would have any family problems… Maybe she's been acting all of this time.*

//Daddy, you've been yellin', I recognize that sound

Make sis stop cryin' that she needs you around

Mama and sis, they love you, no matter what they say this is true…

I don't care if it hurts you, but I really hate you!//

      The background changed back to rain, but a lightning sound was heard, making everyone jump out of their seats. It got everyone on edge.

//I'm running away today, running from the voices, running away!

And I ain't ever goin' back to that place

You won't have any choice, no way!//

      As if on cue, the phone rang. Everyone was too mesmerized by Kota's intense song, so the answering machine picked it up. A feminine voice was speaking, sounding worried.

      "Hi, is Kota there? This is her mother…she isn't at home and I was wondering if she was here. Please let me know; you can reach me on my cell phone. Thank you." Beep.

      Kota glared at the phone angrily. *Damn! How'd she know I was here? And when did Yusuke get a phone?*

      Mei looked up at Kota sheepishly. *I… I kinda bought it for him… See the engraving on it that says _"Love always from your number one fan"_?* Kota sweat dropped, having been previously unaware that her twinlit had heard her thoughts.

//It isn't easy growin' up in World War III, but I know what love will be, I _will_ see

I know love isn't going to destroy me like it is doing to my family

'Cause I will work it out, I will have a family

I swear I'm gonna be so much better, I'll do anything

I will work it out, just me and my real family

I won't need any help from you, dad, because I know he'll never leave//

      The background changed again to a bustling crowd in LA. People were running hurriedly, with the exception of one girl who was walking around without so much as a sweater.

//Our family's full of actors, that all look really happy.

Seems that we always play pretend, making our life look like ecstasy

Is my life just one big play?

Are we on the stage that's drifting from reality?

Why do we kill ourselves, forcing on suffocation?

I don't believe in god, and yet I thank him for emancipation!//

      "I see now," Kurama whispered absent-mindedly. "She doesn't live with her family anymore…"

      "What's emancipation?" Kuwabara asked, turning to the redheaded Youko.

      Kurama answered, "It's when a child at the age of fifteen can legally move out of the house and live on their own, their parents pay for their rent and food and supplies, but the child fends for themselves. They are also given restraining orders and half of their parents salary."

"I get it, so it's like a divorce, only the kids separate, not the parents," Yusuke said with a new found intelligence. (A/n: Literally. Lol)

      "Yes, and that would explain why we've never seen her parents or sister," 

Kurama added.

//In our family portrait we look pretty happy 

We look pretty normal, oh how I hate that.

In our family portrait we look pretty happy, 

We look pretty normal, what's up with that?

I know he'll never leave, Kurama'll never leave.

Oh no, he'll never leave me alone...//

      The background went back to the pouring rain, directly reflecting the mood of the song.

//I'm an actor...

I hate myself

I've been acting forever

Acting like everything's alright

Like I'm so carefree...

Like I'm happy as can be...

I hate my reflection...

How I cry myself to sleep at night...

Oh.........//

      Kota jumped off of the "stage", looking pleased with herself. However, everyone else was stunned. Yukina, Botan, and Keiko (A/n: DIE, EVIL WENCH, DIE!!! _#) were bawling uncontrollably, as was Kuwabara for some odd reason. Mei went to give her beloved twinlit a hug as silent tears fell down her cheeks. Hiei gave her a look of sympathy, which was very rare for the usually apathetic Jaganshi. Kurama gave his stalker a hug, feeling that it was due.

      "What the Hell have you been going through?" Yusuke asked, still finding it hard to believe that Kota of all people had just song a heart-wrenching version of "Family Portrait".

      Kota smiled serenely. "The Hell that's worth going through to find my real family," she said. Kota twirled the microphone by its cord. "So, who's next?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kota: This chapter was brought to you by me! ^^ Well, I helped out 

L-chan.... Will she ever get off her lazy bum and write a chapter herself?

Melissa: I heard that!

Miyu: It's true.

Melissa: -_- Shut up. Anyway, thank you to all of my reviewers! ^-^ Lissa-chan loves you all! Even Miyu does!

Miyu: No I don't.

Melissa: Yes you do! ^-^

cowboyinuyasha-

Melissa: Nani?!  A grammar mistake? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miyu: Damn her and her perfectionism…

Melissa: But thankies for reviewing anyway! Could you tell me where the mistake was though? ^_^

Supreme Neo Countess-

Melissa: I made Hiei a pimp in Hiei the Prostitute; that chapter's up now. ^^

Miyu: That chapter scared me…

Melissa: It scared many. ^_^ Thankies for reviewing! 

darkdemonchild-

Melissa: Hey, thanks for your reviews too! You're Disney Karaoke fic is so funny!

Miyu: But the Kuwabara chapter with him singing The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers scared me. O_o

Melissa: I thought it was hilarious! Thankies for reviewing! ^_^

Keeper of the Apocolypse-

Miyu: I'm gonna sing that in the fourth chapter… Oh, shiny things are a girl's best friend! 

Melissa: () Uh, yeah… Thankies for reviewing! ^_^

dadsnavygirl831-

Melissa: Well, there might be ONE chapter of Keiko bashing…but that's about it. Kay?

Miyu: Aren't all of your snide remarks toward Keiko counted as Keiko bashing?

Melissa: ^^ No, that's just me being me. 

Miyu: ()

Melissa: Thankies for reviewing!

Blazing Flames-

Melissa: I like the stalker part too!

Miyu: I thought you took that offensively.

Melissa: Nah, besides, I wrote it, didn't I?

Miyu: True…

Melissa: Thankies for reviewing! ^_^

Melissa: Thankies for all of the reviews! Next time, Kurama's up! ^_^

Miyu: Yay! Go Oniisan! ^_^

Melissa: Review and have a nice day! ^_^


	3. The fangirl tango Special Cameo's

I know that Kurama was supposed to be up next, but a turn of events has changed that. Don't worry, he's still singing. You see, both myself (Keeper of the Apacolypse) and Urameshi no Koibito are going through writers block. So, we decided to choose one of anothers fanfics to update and I picked I WON'T Survive! So, here we are.... Let's get this thing started!  
  
Disclaimer:  
Is this a fanfic within the fanfic because Kota's writing it and not Mei? And what about the cameo's, is it a fanfic within a fanfic's fanfic because of those characters? "..." I AM SO CONFUSED!!! O.O  
  
"Speaking"  
'A sentence within a sentence'  
_Singing  
_**Solo singing**  
**_Different Language_**  
  
Chapter three; The Fangirl Tango. (Special Cameo's!!!)  
  
Miyu smiled evily. "I know... ALL WHO HAVE A C-CUP OR MORE, GATHER 'ROUND!" Botan, Keiko, Mei and Kota blushed and Yukina followed, confused. "You're a C-cup, Yukina?"  
  
"Hai..." Yukina answered.  
  
"Must be the kimono, those can hide the size of your cleavage." Botan whispered, causing Keiko and Mei to nodd. Miyu whispered to the girls, and the guys tried to decide which girl was bigger then the C-Cup. Kuwabara was saying Miyu, but Hiei accused her of stacking the deck. Yusuke said that Keiko HAD to be lying, which caused a table to hit his head. The girls finally departed and smiled.  
  
"We've decided..." Mei began  
  
"For you to do the Cell Block Tango." Kota finished. "Fortunatly, I've written the parodized version, and so, it will appear on the screen. We don't have any fetish clothes though, so you'll have to sing in your outfits."  
  
Yusuke counted. "We're short three..."  
  
"Me, Urameshi, Kurama, Hiei... We're only short two!" Kuwabara yelled.  
  
"Three, two, what's the difference? I've called a couple more people..." Miyu said. Someone knocked on the door, and Mei answered. "K... Kia-san? Kelsey-san? Jin? Shishiwakamaru?"  
  
Kelsey waved. "Hey! Oi, Miyu, long time no see!"  
  
"You know each other?" Kota exclaimed, bewithered.  
  
Miyu and Kelsey nodded. "Miyu had this bar debt that was BOGUS, because it belonged to some chick named MAYU, and I beat up everyone untill the Mafia came with the Meeses and solved everyone's problems."  
  
Kia sweatdropped. "..."  
  
Kota shrugged. "Que sera sera, get your asses up there, now!" Kota slapped Kurama's butt as he walked onto the stage.  
  
Kurama blushed and Mei jumped up and down. "Oh, oh, lemme slap Yusuke, lemme slap Yusuke!"  
  
Shishi made puppy eyes at Kelsey. "Slap for good luck?"  
  
"Sure." Kelsey slapped Shishiwakamaru's cheek. "Now, be good and get up there before I decide to kick where the sun doesn't shine."  
  
Shishiwakamaru paled and got on stage.  
  
The lights dimmed and the words "The Fangirl Tango" appeared on the screen.  
  
"Hn." Hiei began.  
  
"Fanclub." Shishiwakamaru continued.  
  
"Slap." Yusuke said. (K/N: Duh)  
  
"Uh oh." Kurama's eyes shifted.  
  
"Cookie sheet." (K/N: Guess who?)  
  
"Yukina!" Kuwabara bellowed, causing everyone to cover their ears.  
  
"Hn."  
"Fanclub."  
  
"Slap."  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
"Cookie sheet."  
  
"Yukina!"  
  
Miyu smirked. "And now, the five fine men and Kuwabara in their rendition of the cell block tango."  
  
Before saying their line, the boys struck poses. "Hn."  
"Fanclub."  
  
"Slap."  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
"Cookie sheet."  
  
"Yukina!"  
  
This repeated for about three more times and then they sang.  
  
_We had it comming. We had it comming. We could only blame our hot outter shells. If you'd have been us If you were this sexy._  
  
Jin sang on his own. **I betcha you'd put gals into a faintin' spell!**  
  
"Hn."  
"Fanclub."  
  
"Slap."  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
"Cookie sheet."  
  
"Yukina!"  
  
"Hn."  
"Fanclub."  
  
"Slap."  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
"Cookie sheet."  
  
"Yukina!"  
  
Hiei stepped up. "You know how girls go crazy over a guy who doesn't even wear a shirt in half of the freaking theme song? Like... Jamie. (K/N: No offence to any Hiei fans named Jamie ()) Jamie liked to admire me from afar, no, not admire... STALK! hn. So, I just finish killing this one guy because he was giving me a hard time, I come home and I'm nearly PRAYING to be alone and there's Jamie, going through my drawers, stealing my boxers AGAIN! hn. So I said to her, I said 'If you stalk me one more time...' And she did. So, the next time she did I took the Katana and I gave her two warnings... Miliseconds before I sliced off her head."  
  
_She had it comming She had it comming It was her felonies that we booed. If you'd have been us If she'd have stalked you I bet you would have sent out a can of whoopass on her too_  
  
Shishi stepped up. "I met Kelsey about two years ago after she whalloped me with a schoolbag and I fell in love right away. Eventually, we started living togeather, She'd go out, She'd save the world, She'd come home, she'd beat me up, we'd eat dinner and then I found out. 'I hate you' she told me? I hate you, my ASS! Not only was she in love with me, oh no, she had beaten up my fanclub too! One of those denial cases you know, so I came home, as usual and told her that I had vampire tendencies and I gave her a demonic hicky. You know, some girls just can't resist a hot stud like me." Shishiwakamaru flashed a smile and a schoolbag hit his head.  
  
"My homework was still in there!" Keiko whined.  
  
"Oh, go take a test!" Mei yelled.  
  
_She had it comming She had it comming It took Shishi alot of months, more then ten.  
She denied him And then was claimed by him It may seem like abuse, but it's just S&M_  
  
Yusuke stepped up. "Now, I'm sitting on the couch, watching the T.V., minding my own buisness, and in storms Keiko in a jealous rage. 'You've been dating Mei,' she says. She was RIGHT. And she kept screaming, 'you've been dating Mei!' And then she slapped me. She slapped me ten times."  
  
Mei looked at Keiko, about ready to burst out laughing at the red on Keiko's face. "You won't find that color in ANY crayon box!"  
  
_If you'd have been there If you'd have been slapped too many times I beatcha you would have gone out with Mei!_  
  
Kurama took in a deep breath. **_"I've been stalked all my life baisically. You see, there were woman in the makai who remembered me as Yohko the Seducer, and they waited untill I had reached the age of fifteen, then, they tried to kidnap me, make out with me, date me, and they even sent me chocolate."  
_**  
"Since when does Kurama speak french?" Botan asked.  
  
Kota put her hand to Botan's mouth. "Shush, this is sexy!"  
  
Shishiwakamaru raised his hand. "Yeah, but did you get any of them pregnant?"  
  
Kurama was silent for a momment. "Uh oh... Youko did it!!!"  
  
Jin stepped up and looked at Kurama as he paled, walking back to his spot in line. "My partner, Touya and I were assigned to a new mission, help Urameshi. Now, for this mission, we were assign' to protect Satsukiame, who held the mirror half of healin'. Along the way, Touya and I were talkin', I got bit by a cat, we reached the apartment and the door was shut so we called for Urameshi. I found that the door was unlocked, so I opened it, and I walk in, still calling for Urameshi and then... A cookie sheet collided with my head! I was in such a state of shock that when I first looked at Kia I thought she was an angel, it wasn't untill later, when I had almost killed her I even knew that I was in love!"  
  
**I had it commin'**  
  
_He had it comming  
_  
**I had it commin'  
**  
_He had it comming  
_  
**I had it commin' all along  
**  
_He had it comming all along_  
  
**I got hit with a cookie sheet  
**  
_He got hit with a cookie sheet_  
  
**I looked at her  
**  
_He looked at her  
_  
**I fell in love with her, startin' from day one!**  
  
**I had it commin'**  
  
_We had it comming_  
  
**I had it commin'**  
  
_We denied them_  
  
**All along  
**  
_Then we were claimed by them_  
  
**I got hit with a cookie sheet**  
  
_It may look like abuse, but it's just S&M  
_  
**I fell in love with her, starting from day one!**  
  
Kuwabara stepped up, and everyone groaned. "C' mon, I haven't even began yet! Sheesh." Kuwabara spoke into the mic. "I loved Yukina more then I can possibly say, she was a real beautiful gal. Wonderfull, kind, a healer. But, she was always trying to find her brother, so she asked Hiei for his help and along the way he glared at me, threatened to kill me, and then TRIED to kill me. I read Hiei's diary, and I found out the truth. Yukina, HIEI IS YOUR BROTHER!"  
  
Hiei unsheathed his katana. _Kuwabara's gonna die, die, die, die, die! Kuwabara's gonna die, die, die, die, die!  
_  
As Hiei chased Kuwabara around the apartment, the other guys shrugged and did the can can.  
  
_He had it comming He had it comming He had it comming He had it comming Hiei, the best of luck to ya!  
Hiei, the best of luck to ya!  
'Cause Kuwabara read Hiei's diary 'Cause Kuwabara read Hiei's diary Kuwabara's on firey Kuwabara's on firey Yukina, dump him and go out with Touya!  
  
He had it comming He had it comming He had it comming He had it comming Hiei, the best of luck to ya!  
Hiei, the best of luck to ya!  
'Cause Kuwabara read Hiei's diary 'Cause Kuwabara read Hiei's diary Kuwabara's on firey Kuwabara's on firey Yukina, dump him and go out with Touya!  
_  
"If you stalk me one more time."  
  
"She wasn't in love with me my ass."  
  
"Ten times!"  
  
"They tried to kidnap me, make out with me, date me, and they even sent me chocolate."  
  
"She hit me with a cookie sheet."  
  
"Yukina, HIEI IS YOUR BROTHER."  
  
"Hn."  
"Fanclub."  
  
"Slap."  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
"Cookie sheet."  
  
"Yukina!"  
  
"Hn."  
"Fanclub."  
  
"Slap."  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
"Cookie sheet."  
  
"Yukina!"  
  
The music ended, and all of the girls looked at the boys, eyes wide. "You know what..." Miyu began.  
  
"I wonder if she's thinking what I'M thinking?" Kota wondered alloud.  
  
"We ARE telepathic!" Mei exclaimed.  
  
The girls came to one conclusion. "It NEEDED the fetish outfits!" All of the boys, except for Shishiwakamaru fell over.  
  
Shishi took off his kimono to reveal tight leather pants. "How do ya like me now?!"  
  
Mei raised her hand. "I need a drool bucket..."  
  
(Mei and Kota are sitting on chairs that actors and directors sit on)  
  
Mei: O.O That was.... Interesting.  
  
Kota: You know you liked it.  
  
Mei: But why couldn't it have been YUSUKE in the leather pants?!  
  
Kota: It was either Shishi, or Kuwabara.  
  
Mei: (Shudders) Good choice, neechan. But you know, people do often confuse Stalking as a crime, as opposed to a felony.  
  
Kota: True, so, remember... If you're gonna ruin someone's life, you gotta at least get their side of the story.  
  
Mei: So true, and now, the review responces.  
  
The Review Responces  
  
Blazing Flames-  
Mei: You can say THAT again...  
  
Supreme Neo slytherin Countess-  
Mei: It's KOTA. Not KOTO Kota: ((Laughing)) That's funny! ME, KOTO?! ((Laughing))  
  
Urameshi no Koibito-  
Mei: Oh yeah... Kota's written the past two chapters now... .  
Kota: It's fate. You suck at updating too.  
Mei: I KNOW!  
Miyu: I'd prefer KOTA writing.  
Mei: EH?!  
  
Review plaese, and you'll get a cookie! Or, even better, SHISHI'S LEATHER PANTS!!!  
  
NOTE----  
  
Kaeru Soyokaze gave us permission to use hers and Kelsey's character. So there.


End file.
